Story of the Year – The Constant

(c) 2010 Epitaph Records

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

Adding slightly distorted power chords and brutish drumming isn’t enough to make emo any less bland.  “The Ghost of You and I” has a clever intro, but that’s about the only bright spot on this album.  Fans of emo: surely you can find something better than this.


The Agonist – Lullabies For The Dormant Mind

(c) 2009 Century Media Records
Rating: ½☆☆☆☆

the_agonist Imagine, if you will, that Korn went to Alice in Wonderland-land and attempted to pick a fight with the Cheshire Cat. After the fracas begins, Evanescence pops up along with Paul Gilbert and Barney from Napalm Death and everyone starts smacking each other around with guitars and vocal processors and junk. In the end everyone tires themselves out from ridiculous amount of fronting and lame-ass boredom. Nobody wins. If this CD was a joke it wouldn’t be nearly as funny as the fact that it’s not. Suffer! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (this is what it would sound like if you tried to sing along)

Jerry Actually

The Drama Club

(c)2008 Label Group (aka EMI)
Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

The Dram Club offers, yes, you guessed it, DRAMA! … They are the soundtrack to whatever crappy new MTV reality show du jour. This disc is pretty damn milk toast. If you have sold your soul to the devil, listening to this is the price that you must pay! Maybe when you do what you can to get played, that feeling projects out from you where ever you go … if ya know what I mean.

–Jerry Actually