The Rudy Schwartz Project – Bowling for Appliances

(c)2008 DC Jam Records
Rating: ½☆☆☆☆

rudyschwartz This is the kind of music that makes people want to punch babies.  I’ve never been a huge fan of babies (except for yours, of course), so it’s more telling to say that this cd made me want to kick puppies.  18 tracks of useless, casio-keyboard-fueled, Ernest Borgnine referencing lyrics — I was sobbing with relief when the cd was over.

Thinking it might be my bias against creepy esoteric jazz, I checked with my Mister (a Zappa and Mike Patton fan) — maybe I was missing something?  No, he assured me, this cd is not Zappa-esque, it’s not layered with subtle genius nor painstakingly composed. This is the sort of crap that Mr. Bungle’s under-the-stairs dwelling troglodyte brother would bang out if he got loose.  Sorry, but I found little redeeming social value in this. Skip this if you don’t want to stab your eyeballs out with dull forks, and please don’t give this to impressionable children.


Kottonmouth Kings – The Green Album

(c)2008 Suburban Noize Records
Rating: ★★☆☆☆

kottonmouthkingsgreenalbum Sometimes you watch an action movie and you leave the theater feeling like a badass, humming the Mission Impossible theme, hoping your car’s transformed into a James-Bond-mobile. You know that feeling… I just had a Fast & Furious movie marathon, so it left me in one of those post-car-chase-movie moods. Had I been looking for a soundtrack to keep that “I’m a misunderstood rebel car guy from SoCal” feeling alive, I’d throw in the Kottonmouth Kings new disc, “The Green Album”.

I’m not a gangsta.  I’m not from SoCal. I’ve never listened to the Kottonmouth Kings before, so I can’t judge this album, their 10th full-length, in comparison to any previous works.  That said, “The Green Album” is a decent assortment of 20 tracks that start off like a road race street party but winds down to a backyard love fest.

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OPM – Golden State of Mind

OPM – Golden State of Mind(c) 2008 Suburban Noise RecordsOPM, the band that brought you “Heaven is a Halfpipe”, returns with a new full length, “Golden State of Mind”. The fourth (I think) full release from the So Cal quintet brings more of the pleasing combination of Roots Dub Rock with a laid back coastal vibe that is only known to those on the left coast. The new disc delivers 14 star studded cuts including guest appearances by Pato Banton and Sen Dog (Cypress Hill) On a whole the disc is a bit “rap” heavy for my tastes, but it is also well tempered by smooth reggae rythyms and even a punkesqe rocker, track 3 “Runaway”. Moreover “Golden State of Mind” is a great party jam, capable of pleasing large groups of partiers with disparate musical tastes. So bust it out at your next swaree and when the smoke haze clears you should have about 90% smiles. Pretty good I’d say.–Jerry Actually

Bloodbath [The Wacken Carnage]

Bloodbath – The Wacken Carnage(c) 2008 Peaceville RecordsBloodbath is a Swedish metal supergroup of sorts consisting of members of Katatonia and Opeth. The Wacken Carnage is a live CD/DVD double set from the bands brutal performance at the 2005 Wacken Open Air Festival. What can I say other than this mother shreds. (to the extreme) Of all the metal I’ve been listening to lately, I must admit that I’m rather fond of Bloodbath. They really bring it on home. Granted, I still could sleep easier at night without the sound of vocal chords shredding. What they lack in my particular vocal preference, is more than made up for with speed and aggression. Get this set, pop in the CD or DVD and enjoy the ensuing Bloodbath.–Jerry Actually