The Rudy Schwartz Project – Bowling for Appliances

(c)2008 DC Jam Records
Rating: ½☆☆☆☆

rudyschwartz This is the kind of music that makes people want to punch babies.  I’ve never been a huge fan of babies (except for yours, of course), so it’s more telling to say that this cd made me want to kick puppies.  18 tracks of useless, casio-keyboard-fueled, Ernest Borgnine referencing lyrics — I was sobbing with relief when the cd was over.

Thinking it might be my bias against creepy esoteric jazz, I checked with my Mister (a Zappa and Mike Patton fan) — maybe I was missing something?  No, he assured me, this cd is not Zappa-esque, it’s not layered with subtle genius nor painstakingly composed. This is the sort of crap that Mr. Bungle’s under-the-stairs dwelling troglodyte brother would bang out if he got loose.  Sorry, but I found little redeeming social value in this. Skip this if you don’t want to stab your eyeballs out with dull forks, and please don’t give this to impressionable children.

-HK-47

8 thoughts on “The Rudy Schwartz Project – Bowling for Appliances”

  1. You’re both too young to remember when Ernest Borgnine was a subtle hallucinogen. He had Wessonality. You don’t.

  2. How could you hate Rudy! Im a huge Zappa fan as well but couldn’t live with the Rudy Schwartz Project in my collection. Ill bet the folks at DC Jam Records are loving this review though because it probably just increased their sales significantly. No person should be without this CD.

  3. You think this is bad? Wait for the deluxe reissue of Droplets on the Rim. We should all be so lucky. You listening DC Jam?

  4. Ha! The Rudy Schwartz Project couldn’t have written a better review themselves! I have every one of their records but this one, but just as soon as I finish typing this response, I’m off to track it down and purchase it immediately. Now go punch the baby and kick the pup…LOL
    RSP absolutely rules!!!

  5. From the wikipedia article on Mr. Brorgnine:
    On August 14, 2008, Borgnine claimed on Fox News Channel that one of his secrets of long life was to “masturbate a lot”.

  6. I have been sitting on this record for a few weeks now and keep meaning to review it. The DC Jams really impressed me the first time I heard about them as it seems like they spend quite a bit of what they make on trying to re-release old schol punk music under their label which IMO is a great idea nad a great way to get punk rock kids to rediscover their punk roots instad of thinking of old punk music as just the dead kennedys or the first Rancid or pennywise CD’s.

    I’ll have to listen to this record, you make it sound like it could be a damn good release.

  7. Rudy Schwartz Project rule. This reviewer is probably one of the normals that the Church of the Subgenius speaks of. I am sure of it.

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